Mr. Darcy broke my heart

I debated about posting this review because it's long and because of the book but I suppose my better judgment was overruled.


Mr. Darcy broke my heart - Beth Pattillo

I've been reading Les Miserables and really enjoying it but my dear friend Victor can be a bit on the heavy side. So when I went into Barnes and Noble last weekend I wanted something light and fun that I could get through quickly without the urge to mark passages and make notes in the margins. I was perusing the new fiction table and I noticed this book because of the cover. There is a woman in a pretty red dress...what can I say, I like pretty dresses!

I read the back and the first few pages and was intrigued. Now, here comes the disclaimer - even though I really hate to have to put one, I know I need to. I wrote my undergraduate thesis on modern representations of Jane Austen and actually devoted an entire chapter to Chick Lit - a term that just rubs me the wrong way. It irritates me that it's an actual literary term but so it is. What was I saying...ah yes...thesis. I was looking at how Austen has been used and maybe abused by authors today in a myriad of different ways. It's interesting to see that what is being said usually says more about the person saying it than Austen herself. It's something that still interests me a great deal so when I see a book that has anything to do with Austen I take a look. I've read it all. Continuations of Austen's novels, retellings and works "inspired" by Austen's novels. Some are quite entertaining and others are glorified fan-fiction with sex, duels and heaving bosoms. But I digress...

Pattillo actually surprised me with this story. What could have been more of the same - glorified fan fiction and heaving bosoms intrigued me. It takes place in one week while the main character, Claire, is attending a summer seminar at Oxford on Jane Austen. Claire has recently lost her job, she has a boyfriend that is less than enthusiastic, her parents died when she was 18 and she has been taking care of her younger sister ever since. While there she just happens to meet an old woman who just happens to be a direct descendant of Austen through one of Austen's brothers. And this woman just happens to have the lost manuscript of First Impressions - what would later become Pride & Prejudice.The plot is ridiculous but it's just what keeps the characters moving. Claire, of course, meets a good looking, mysterious man while there but it's not what you think it would be.

Pattillo does something that I haven't encountered with other Austen spin offs. She uses the larger than life character of Mr. Darcy as a vehicle for self discovery for her heroine. The story isn't really about Claire's love life or who she will or won't end up with. It's about her finally coming to terms with her parent's death and letting go of her little sister. It's not the best novel I've ever read but I was pleasantly surprised with it. The sections that took place in the classroom were fun for me because it reminded me of my own Austen Seminar Senior year. This definitely isn't a book for everyone but it was a good antidote to Hugo and his heavy handed metaphors and suffering.

The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown (4 of 5 Disguised Pyramids)

Tom Hanks...I mean Robert Langdon, is out saving the world again from secret societies and crazy villains. In typical Dan Brown style he has marketed the novel to the widest base of readers as humanly possible. You'll be hooked by Brown's book if you are interested in any of the following: secret societies (the Masons), Washington, DC landmarks, wealthy families, emerging sciences, Ivy League schools, religion, politics, new technologies, exotic animals, attractive women, tattoos, Europe, family disputes, psychology, airplanes, black op government agencies, fast cars, secret tunnels, codes, symbols, US history, libraries, guns, art history, mathematics, romance, iPhones, computer hacking...uh...did I miss anything?...oh yeah, lap swimming.

Don't get me wrong. Like the rest of Dan Brown's books, I enjoyed The Lost Symbol enough to read 500 pages in under 48 hours. I felt it was kind of obnoxious though how Brown was perhaps tainting the book by packing so many things into it just to sell more copies. Did anyone else feel that way? And all that religious preaching at the end...that was new. Does anyone see Brown being the next L. Ron Hubbard?... :)

My primary connection with the book was its setting in Washington, DC. Having spent last summer out there doing an internship, I was pretty familiar with all of the locations that Brown described. I was a little disappointed though that there weren't more locations mentioned. The only one I hadn't seen in person was the Smithsonian Support Center. Has anyone been there? From Google Maps it looks like it is outside of the DC limits, southeast of the Mall.

While Angels and Demons was definitely more absurd than The Lost Symbol I enjoyed the former more for just that reason. Part of the fun of reading A&D was seeing just how far Brown would push the limits of his book...anti-matter bombs under the Vatican? Jumping out of helicopters without a parachute? Artificial insemination? Was anyone else disappointed to see how the movie version removed these crazy plot twists? TLS also lacked the prominent "time lock" that A&D had. While both novels had the midnight deadline for pending world catastrophe, A&D was constantly reaffirming the necessity of catching the villain each hour. TLS only mentioned the deadline a few times, which allowed the tension to dissipate somewhat during the middle of the novel.

Oh well. So it goes. Props to Dan Brown for making the book as good as it was. I just think it could have been much better. What did the rest of you think of it of The Lost Symbol?

King Solomon's Mines - H. Rider Haggard (3.5 of 5 Lost Civilizations)

So...it looks like my last review was posted on September 28, 2009. That's pretty sad. This isn't for lack of reading though. I read about 30-35 books this semester. I just haven't had time to write up the reviews. But, now that finals are over, I hope to share many of these books with you.

King Solomon's Mines was published in 1885. It was one of the first "Lost World" adventure novels. It follows three white men in their exploration of the interior of Africa. Along the way they meet a noble native who serves as their guide. When they reach the lost civilization they are perceived as God's coming down from heaven. Life is all fine and dandy until their story begins to unravel.

The book is somewhat entertaining, but there isn't a lot of depth to the story. This novel is well-known for its historical rather than literary significance. Everything is pretty typical for its genre: a few unsurprising plot twists, a few epic battles, a rather shallow love story, lost treasure, and one crazy old woman. If you're looking for a quick and fluffy adventure story from the 19th century, this is the book for you.

The Man Who Would Be King - Rudyard Kipling (4 of 5 Disguised Priests)

A newspaper journalist sits in his office on a muggy summer night in India counting down the minutes before he can close up the office and go home. There is a knock in the door. He debates whether or not to answer it. There is another knock and he struggles to get up from his table. When he arrives at the entrance he finds two wanders, Dravot and Peachy who immediately disclose to him their plans to become kings of a remote region of Afghanistan.

The book is a quick read. I've seen it in book form with large type as well as a short story of about 30-40 pages. It moves quickly, sports some memorable characters and brings up some interesting issues about exploration and colonization.

I've been told there was a movie made from the book, which stars Sean Connery and Michael Caine. Imdb says that it was nominated for 4 Academy awards - sounds like it did well. Has anyone seen it?

The Princess Bride - William Goldman (4 of 5 Empty Flasks of Iocane Powder)

I really wish I could have read this book prior to seeing the movie. It's always hard to erase the images you have in your mind (especially with this movie, having seen it just under a bazillion times). Rather than enjoy the book for what it was I found myself constantly skimming over the parts in the movie to find the new content. Most of this new content was back story to the characters, some scenes which are quite hilarious. The rest of the new stuff was William Goldman interrupting his own story. Some of his comments were quite funny. Some could have been left out. They get old after a while.

If you get the 25th anniversary edition you'll also get the first chapter of the sequel "Buttercup's Baby." This story follows Wesley, Buttercup, Fezzik and Ignacio as they flee from Prince Humperdink after storming his castle. There are a couple funny moments, but it seems like nothing more than an afterthought - not really worth your time.

If you haven't seen the movie, go get the book as soon as you can. If you're from the Mormon Heartland and have seen this movie at least once every few months for most of your childhood, you might want to think twice before checking it out from the library.

The Broker - John Grisham (1 of 5 Contrived Plot Lines)

You might find this surprising, but this is my first encounter with a John Grisham book. And frankly, I was not impressed at all. If all his books are this bad, I'm unsure why his publisher continues to speak to him. The copy I got from the library was the abridged audio version. Last time I checked, abridgements are attempts to take out all of the boring parts. Now, if the abridged version was more mind numbing than watching paint dry, what does that say about the original? Has anyone read the original? Did the editor just happen to take out the good stuff this time by mistake?... And excuse me, was that supposed to be an ending? The conclusion to The Broker, well, conclusion is too generous, the last page of The Broker was even worse than the second Pirates of the Caribbean. Is there a sequel to The Broker or was that really the end?

[Jake takes deep breaths while he counts down from ten.]

The Broker begins with a fictional president of the United States leaving office. On his last night as president, he pardons an attorney who has been sitting in a maximum security prison for six years. The attorney was charged with trying to sell secrets to foreign governments about a secret spy satellite network floating in space. The CIA plans to free him, and then wait to see who kills him, in order to discover the creator of the satellites.

Now, this plot might have a lot of potential. It might play out much like the Borne Identity books/movies. But Grisham's execution is absolutely terrible. Once the CIA dumps the attorney in Italy I was expecting all kinds of car chases, gadgets and double crossing secret agents. Um...nope, just page after page of boring bureaucrats moving him from safe house to safe house and teaching him Italian. The plot is dull. The characters are dry. The conclusion is nonexistent. This book apparently was number one on the New York Times Best Seller list back in 2005. Why? Did I uh...miss something?

Erewhon - Samuel Butler (1.5 of 5 Self-Replicating Watches)

No.  This is not the spinoff of Eragon.

Short history lesson: Samuel Butler was a cukie old man who lived in the 19th century.  Like everybody else at the time, he became intensly interested in Darwin's theory of evolution.  Unlike everybody else at the time, he tried to send some of his crazy theories to Darwin himself, which of course Charles blew off immediately.  Angered by his idol's heartless rejection, Butler set off on his own to recreate his own brand of Lamarckian evolution.  Never heard of him?  Well, that's probably because everything he believed has since been proven false.

Erewhon or...nowhere sort of spelled backwards, is a story about a man that takes a journey into the land beyond where he finds a crazy town that does everything backwards.  How exciting!  They have banned all machines.  They believe that crimes are diseases and diseases crimes (you can go to jail for getting a cold).  They teach unreason in their universities.  Their churches are banks...yada yada.  It goes on and on.  You might find a few interesting ideas here and there, but the satire will become unbearable after oh...five or six pages.  

Don't bother with this book.  Bulter basically ripped off Gulliver's Travels and jammed some skewed ideas about evolution into it.  Go read Gulliver instead.  It's much better.  If you've read Gulliver, go find something else to chew on.

The Christmas Box - Richard Paul Evans (4 of 5 Stone Angels)

Each year in December the stake presidency from my student ward gives Christmas gifts to everyone.  Last year it was a sand dollar. This year it was a copy of The Christmas Box.  They passed them out in early December but I didn't get to it until now.  Yes...Christmas is over, but I still felt obligated to read the book.

And I'm glad I did.  I saw it as a pleasant epilogue to this Christmas season.  It's simple and straightfoward.  Evans doesn't try to write the next Christmas epic.  He merely tells a story that is designed to remind us about the things that really matter.

So it goes.  An older woman who lives in the Salt Lake City Avenues puts an ad in the paper requesting help taking care of her and her house.  A young family takes her up on the offer.  They soon find out that her primary reason for the invitation was not cooking and cleaning.  She's just looking for a little companionship in the sunset of her life...

Anyway...if you also received a copy of the book from President Plumb, and still haven't read it, it's probably a little late.  But don't worry, you're probably not the only one that didn't get through it.  Just put it on the list for Christmas 2009.  

Merry Belated Christmas!

The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher

Hello all! I haven't actually reviewed/recommended anything in a while, so I thought I'd recommend these. The Dresden Files is a series of books by Jim Butcher (Storm Front, Fool Moon, Grave Peril, Summer Knight, Death Masks, Blood Rites, Dead Beat, Proven Guilty, White Night, Small Favor, and the upcoming Turn Coat.)
The book are about a Wizard, Harry Dresden, who works in Chicago as a private detective and sometimes a consultant for the police. They have a wicked sense of humor, an intriguing protaganist, and great one liners.
Each one has a different plot, and I'm recommending them all, (Although, I'd have to mention I went from liking the books to LOVING the books around book 4) but I should probably at least tell you a little about Storm Front to get you all started.

Here's the summary from www.jim-butcher.com

Harry Dresden is the best at what he does. Well, technically, he's the only at what he does. So when the Chicago P.D. has a case that transcends mortal creativity or capability, they come to him for answers. For the "everyday" world is actually full of strange and magical things -- and most of them don't play well with humans. That's where Harry comes in. Takes a wizard to catch a -- well, whatever.

There's just one problem. Business, to put it mildly, stinks. So when the police bring him in to consult on a grisly double murder committed with black magic, Harry's seeing dollar signs. But where there's black magic, there's a black mage behind it. And now that mage knows Harry's name. And that's when things start to get... interesting.

Magic. It can get a guy killed.

I'm telling ya, y'all should read these, or check out the one season of Dresden Files that the SciFi Channel produced before they canceled it (those JERKS!!!) The tv show captured some of the magic of the books, but why mess with the original!
Check them out!!!

Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer (A-)

Is it okay for me to review the last book in a series without reviewing the first 3? I hope so. And let me say right up front, that I was a fan of this book before I read it. I love the Twilight series! So feel free to take my review with a grain of salt, because the reviewer herself knows this might not be the most well-balanced review available.

Breaking Dawn is the fourth, and final, book in the bestselling vampire romance series by Stephenie Meyer. Bella is the mortal teenage girl who falls in love with the immortal vampire, Edward, and the fourth book puts a good "period" to a very, very long sentence. Much of what occurs in the book is to be expected if you've read the first three. Meyer doesn't take us on any incredible twists in this book where the main storyline is concerned. But the new adventures and new difficulties that arise in Breaking Dawn are enough to keep the reader interested and entertained through the massive 700+ pages.

I really did enjoy the book. Many of the "surprises" were the sort that made me think, "I would never have guessed that, but its so perfect why didn't I predict that?!" I'm also a huge fan because Meyer very much ends the storyline. Other authors would perhaps see the economic gain possible in extending such a well-loved series (i.e. High School Musical 3? 4? REALLY?!) but Meyer leans on the side of artistic integrity, I guess, and closes the story where it should end.

And I loved it.

A-

Dragonfly - Frederic S. Durbin (4.5 of 5 Shadow Battles)

Thanks PJ for the suggestion. I'll give it the last half a point when I figure out what I just read. This was one of the oddest, yet most enthralling books I've read in a long time.

Dragonfly is the name of a 10-year-old girl who lives with her Uncle Henry who works as a funeral home director. A few weeks before Halloween, they begin hearing voices in the basement and sounds of construction. One night a mysterious man named Mothkin shows up, making references to the last time that he had to "go down." Before long, Mothkin and Dragonfly are descending a steep staircase under Uncle Henry's house into the abyss of Harvest Moon, where every day is Halloween.

Prepare yourself for vampire battles, werewolf attacks, and eccentric gypsies. You might think that a story told from the perspective of a young girl would be juvenile fantasy, but it's not. You'll find it in the fiction section of the library. This might be better to read during Halloween season, but I still really enjoyed it in July. Read it now or read it in October, but don't miss out on reading this amazing book.

The Book Thief - Markus Zuzak (6 out of 5 Stolen Books)

This may well be one of the best books I have ever read. And I don't say that lightly.

The Book Thief is the tale of a young girl given by her mother into foster care, and her growing up and trying to deal with the world of Nazi Germany. It is a profoundly moving, emotional, evocative book, one of the few books that has ever made me cry. I can't really do it justice with any sort of review, so I will simply say that if you haven't yet read it, go do so posthaste.

Life on a Refrigerator Door: Notes Between a Mother and Daughter, a novel - Alice Kuipers (4.5 of 5 Magnets)

A friend of mine suggested this book to me a couple of weeks ago. I put it on hold and let the library to do the rest. I started and finished it in the same morning (it was a very short book). Apparently length isn't everything. I was very impressed with it.

The whole novel is composed of notes left on a refrigerator door by a mother and her daughter. The mother is divorced and spends much of her time working at the hospital. The teenage daughter is caught up in her own world of school, friends and babysitting. They write notes back and forth, some short and some long, some lighthearted and some serious.

Before you jump to conclusions, I should mention that not all of their communication is done this way. Many of the notes make references to the time that they had spent together the previous night such as "Thanks Mom for dinner and movie last night."

The letters become more serious when the mother discovers that she has breast cancer. I thought that this was one of the more interesting ways to discuss this topic. What I most impressed with was how authentic the discussions felt. I'll admit that I haven't been a teenage daughter who watched her mother battle with breast cancer, but I have been affected by this horrible disease. My grandmother passed away four years ago after a courageous struggle with stomach cancer. Does anyone agree or disagree with my assesment of the authenticity of the book?

Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

I first picked up Name of the Wind on the suggestion of my favorite librarian. She's been giving me suggestions for years, and knows how much I like fantasy. I had bypassed the book several times, I am ashamed to say, because the cover didn't appeal to me. It never grabbed my attention, and so I ignored it. Oh, how wrong I was. I was intrigued just by reading the inside flap (which I'll post in a while, in a blatant attempt to get y'all to read it too). In fact, when I got home I started reading, and I could hardly put it down for 3 days, and when I finished, I wished it hadn't ended. Luckily for me there are two more books, unfortunately though, they aren't published yet. And so the waiting begins. Here's the inner flap:

My name is Kvothe, pronounced nearly the same as "quothe." Names are important as they tell you a great deal about a person. I've had more names than anyone has a right to. The Adem call me Maedre. Which, depending on how it's spoken, can mean The Flame, The Thunder, or The Broken Tree.

"The Flame" is obvious if you've ever seen me. I have red hair, bright. If I had been born a couple of hundred years ago I would probably have been burned as a demon. I keep it short but it's unruly. When left to its own devices, it sticks up and makes me look as if I have been set afire.

"The Thunder" I attribute to a strong baritone and a great deal of stage training at an early age.

I've never thought of "The Broken Tree" as very significant. Although in retrospect, I suppose it could be considered at least partially prophetic.

My first mentor called me E'lir because I was clever and I knew it. My first real lover called me Dulator because she liked the sound of it. I have been called Shadicar, Lightfinger, and Six-String. I have been called Kvothe the Bloodless, Kvothe the Arcane, and Kvothe Kingkiller. I have earned those names. Bought and paid for them.

But I was brought up as Kvothe. My father once told me it meant "to know."

I have, of course, been called many other things. Most of them uncouth, although very few were unearned.

I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep.

You may have heard of me.

The story is beautifully written, and I highly recommend it.

Letters for Emily - Camron Wright (4 of 5 Gold Coins)

Harry is an older man dying of Alzheimer's. The opening chapter is a letter written by Harry that tells of his wish to be remembered for the man he was before his illness robbed him of his mind. He describes his intent to write a few last letters to his granddaughter Emily, in which he will include his final words of wisdom.

Harry's son Bob and his wife Laura are having marital problems. When the story opens, Bob has already moved to California. Laura takes her daughter Emily to visit Harry every Friday afternoon as his life draws to a close.

First of all, I wouldn't be surprised if this book was made into a Hallmark video, if it hasn't been already... If so, it would be one of the better movies Hallmark could produce. While the story itself is a little predictable, the actual letters from Harry are what makes the book worth the read. His subjects range from the importance of flossing to forgiveness. My favorite letter was the one in which he met his wife. I can't tell you much more than that... I don't want to spoil it for you. If you've read it, come find me and we'll chat and have a good laugh.

Warm fuzzies abound. Let me know what you thought of it.

The Host - Stephanie Meyer

Being (apparently) one of the few people who has not read Twilight and the subsequent sequels, I didn't know much about Stephanie Meyer. I therefore had no idea that her first book of adult fiction was released in May. However, when I was visiting my cousin in California we all found ourselves reading one evening and I just could not get myself interested in my umpteenth reading of The Prisoner of Azkaban. So as I was staring off into space wondering what to do, my cousin Lisa suggested that I start reading The Host. The new novel by Stephanie Meyer.

So I started the book, not knowing anything about Meyer, least of all that she was a Mormon and not really knowing what to expect. The jacket description about a new species coming to earth and taking over human bodies was somewhat odd, but I was intrigued nonetheless. As I delved into the story, I found myself pulled into the life of Melanie and Wanderer. Melanie is running from the body snatchers of souls that have systematically taken over the bodies of human beings. Souls are essentially a parasite that cannot exist with a "host" of some sort. They have taken over other planets and creatures in other parts of the universe and earth was next. Melanie is one of the few "humans" left who have not yet been captured. We open the story with her capture and the insertion of the soul Wanderer into her body. To the surprise of Wanderer, when she wakes up from her hibernated state newly implanted in Melanie's body, Melanie is still there.

There, in the sense that Melanie still has control over parts of her mind. She doesn't allow Wanderer to see all of her memories and she talks to Wanderer. For the soul Wanderer not only is this disconcerting, she knows that it is not supposed to happen. As she begins to try and force Melanie out, Melanie begins to show Wanderer piece by piece parts of her past, until Wanderer is just as consumed by the welfare of Melanie's human friends as Melanie is.

As a first time reader of Stephanie Meyer, I was left with desire to read more. The Host was one of the most entertaining reads I have had in a long time, Meyer's style of writing was new, and her ideas for the story were different than anything that I have EVER read. Her exploration of ethics and individuality in the book was intriguing and thought provoking. Put it on hold at the library, it's worth the wait to read it.

Austenland - Shannon Hale (2 of 5 Hearts)

A few weeks ago a friend of mine recomended that I read Shannon Hale's books. While wandering through the audio books at the Bingham Creek Library last week, I stumbled upon Austenland. I naively took it home and popped the CD into my laptop.

I was quite intrigued by the opening chapter of the book. A "thirty-something woman" from New York has developed a Darcy complex, after a lifetime of loser boyfriends. Whenever she feels lonely she watches Pride and Prejudice and falls in love with Mr. Darcy yet again. She might have lived her entire life this way, spending night after night with her beloved DVD if it had not been for the appearance of her rich aunt. During a visit to Jane's New York apartment, her aunt discovers Jane's addiction. They speak briefly over lunch and then her aunt leaves. A few years later, Jane is notified that her rich aunt died, leaving her a three week trip to a hotel in England. After some deliberation, Jane decides to accept the gift in an effort to expunge herself once and for all of her addiction. Comedy ensues.

I will admit that I had high hopes for the book. The author has obviously read her fair share of Austen books several times. Amusing references pop up all over the place. In the beginning of the book, Hale's tone is hilarious. Then it gets old. Then it gets just plain obnoxious. I felt there were far too many plot twists for the sake of mere plot twitters. She should have just stuck with the Gardner. That seemed to be working out just fine.

I found myself desperately hoping that real women aren't nearly as whimsically lovesick as Miss Jane Erstwhile. If they are, well...I guess I'm in trouble.